Sharon Soares
From birth defects to divorce; uneducated to doctorate
It all started when I was born, really it did. I was born with my intestines tied in knots, literally. The doctors considered it a birth defect. I had to have surgery at 7 days old and again at 20 days old. Both times the doctors felt I had a slim chance of living.
Now, skip ahead to age 6. Once again, my intestines twisted and they needed to do surgery again. This time, the doctors thought I would live, but told my mom that I would never be able to carry a baby to term. This was in the 1970's when doctors didn't know much, apparently. I was devastated.
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| Pictures of me as a kid |
We get to skip ahead again, 1994, my first child was born. My son was carried to term and 1 week beyond term at 41 weeks. In 1998, my second child, a daughter, was born at 39 weeks. One more time, in 2000, my last child, also a daughter, was born at 1 hour shy of 40 weeks. All children were born natural, healthy, and have been an influence in my life. Shows what the doctors knew.
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| My kids and me 2005 |
Now to the school stuff...I started college in 1990 right after I graduated high school. I do realize it was forever ago, but it doesn't feel like it. College was awesome, well eventually. It was community college. I wanted to go to a four year school, but I missed all deadlines and my mom never had any intention on paying for a four year college for me. I rebelled. Who needed college? I took music classes, slept until noon, and pretended to go to school. To my mom's surprise in December of that year, my grades did not show I had successfully completed a semester of college. They showed I had 6 credits in music and 0 credits in anything else with a GPA less than 2.0.
I was a good girl. I never skipped school in high school. My mom trusted me, so off I went, renewed and bound and determined in spring of 1991 to complete more classes. I'd have to pull out my transcript to look, but I believe I got another 3 hours in music and maybe one other class. Oh yeah, I forgot to drop English and got a D, even though I didn't make it to many classes. The work I did turn in was great. I had always been a great student and that hadn't changed.
Mom wasn't very happy with my grades. I threatened to move away, to my dad's house. We had left Arkansas for California my junior year in high school. My dad still lived in Arkansas. I had made new friends, but missed my old life, my dad, and especially my grandma. She is another success story that will be told another time. I came back home, tried school some more, and still struggled. It wasn't that I wasn't smart. I just didn't care. I didn't want to be in this extended form of high school. I didn't care that it saved my family money. I didn't see the point of a degree.
In 1992, I married a man that I had only known for a couple of months. We met in April and were married in June. It was stupid, but the ultimate betrayal to my mom. I dropped out of school and was lucky to be a stay at home wife. We had no money really. I tried to work, but really didn't have a good work ethic, had depression, and hated the idea of every day going to do something for nothing. I didn't see the point. I lucked out on having a husband that was understanding, loving, and kind. My husband was very accommodating and as you know from the above story, my son was born in 1994.
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| It's me. 2006 |
As time went on, I worked several jobs for a few months at a time. We tried to keep my son out of daycare as much as possible and I was a stay at home mom after my first daughter was born. I went to school to become a certified massage therapist. This was going to be it. I received 120 hours certification and it turned out that many more dollars needed to be spent to get me into the city being an actual therapist. I needed at least 500 hours and I was tapped out.
I figured I would just open my own daycare, but that was a lot of work and after becoming certified in first aid and CPR, I got pregnant with my last child. I was nauseated for 7 months of that pregnancy. I was also told after 6 months of the pregnancy that my husband of 7 years wanted a divorce. This, too, is a long story, but the shortened version was we made it through the 8th year before the divorce was final.
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| The girls and I, 2003 |
Being a drop-out from college, I had no job and no place to live. I moved the kids and I into my ex-mother-in-laws house. Yes, that's right, my ex's mom's house. She loved my kids and me and I was lucky to have her step up and help. I worked full-time and started back to school.
Being a single mom with three children at 27 years of age made me feel like the oldest mom in the world. No one would ever want to be around me and my kids. I was overweight and hated my life. There was this little part of me that knew, I could do better. My mom had an education, so I knew if she did it, I could too.
I received my Associate degree, from that same community college where I started, in Liberal Arts and one in Humanities in 2003. During this time, I reunited with the son of one of my mom's friend and we started dating. We moved in together in 2002 and moved out to Missouri in 2003 with my three kids. I continued my education journey, at first thinking I was going to be a teacher, but eventually getting my degree in Business. It was faster and allowed me to finish my Bachelors degree in 2005 and marry in November of 2005.
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| My family on our way to Arena Football in Iowa 2015 |
I started working in higher education at a for-profit school in 2006, first as a Human Resources Recruiter then Evaluations Representative, and finally Assistant Registrar. I finished my MBA (Masters of Business Administration) in 2010. I lost my job and found another at a great community college. I feel like my life has come full circle. I have been the Enrollment Manager since 2011 for the Distance Education department. I am working on my dissertation for my Doctorate in Higher Education.
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| My husband and I- one of my favorite picture of us. |
From birth defect to alive and well, successful graduate from high school.
From drop-out to graduate from community college.
From graduate of community college to graduate of 4-year school.
From graduate of 4-year school to graduate degree.
From graduate degree to be continued... (gotta finish that dissertation).
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| All dressed to lead graduates in. I never walked for graduation. |
I love learning. I love being the best at everything I possibly can be. I have had my bumps and bruises and many other hurdles along the way, but in everything I keep going. Life can be good. Life can give you what you need when you need it. Life may not go as you plan, but you can learn something about it all along the way. I wouldn't change my life and all the challenges I've endured. They have made me the person I am today.
I hope this story helps you in figuring out who you are. Know that everything happens for a reason.
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| My kids 2016 at my son's AIT graduation from the Army |
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